2009 Darwin Awards,honouring the least evolved among us.

 

1. When his 38 calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.

3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer… $15.

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

10. When a man 20 attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying, that it was the best laugh he’d ever had.

Advertisements

10 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

10 responses to “2009 Darwin Awards,honouring the least evolved among us.

  1. FATMAN

    Brilliant, especially the last hahahaha Have a good day PennyFATMAN X

  2. Robin

    Very funny Penny. LOL

  3. Sheila

    Great stuff Penny have a good day xx

  4. Curiosity

    We all do some daft things in our time but hopefully not as dim as these.

  5. Jennifer

    Hiya Pen, thanks for sharing these amusing messages with us! :D Great to know you like the rose beds: they are actually grown on my campus. And the stroll, hehe, I bet you have nice places like ours in the UK. Hope you are having a lovely weekend with Wendell, your friends and family!:D

  6. Martin

    Now that made I chuckle LOL

  7. Deb's

    I nearly choked on me cuppa … lol thanks for the giggles, favourites … numbers 3, 4, and 10have a great day love n hugsdebsxXx

  8. Philip

    Hiya Pen! :o) I’m glad it made you think, just remember what I said, YOU have the power to make a difference, just keep on telling them you’re not happy with the way things are. And I stopped the nuts, however, I’m still in the same flare-up that they may have caused. I’m still stressed too! (>_<)! hahaAs for your blog, the stupidty of some people really beggers beliefe. I’m glad they’re removing themselves from the gene pool, tis just a shame some don’t remove themselves quick enough and leave progeny! The Darwin awards would be a great positive reason to practice eugenics!Anyway, hope you’re okay too and the week is going fine for you. :o)- Phil

  9. Happy

    Hiya Penny: I remember the first time I read the Darwin’s I was so disconcerted. They’re tragically funny and just makes me go ‘Duh’. Like, understandably, no. 3. But #6, oh Lordy I shall continue to tell younger persons to stay in school just so basic numeracy skills are covered. Hope you’re good. YVR was chill today but later afternoon had loads of sunshine and giant threatening clouds have cleared. Take care.

  10. Chris

    First track as I entered into your very colourful space … Mink DeVille !LOLre Apprentice, I wanted him out the first week after I saw him runninghe heI don’t think James will make it all the way, a little too easy and Sir Allan has marked his card. Debrah ? Well, she’s not a communicator and therefore wouldn’t be suitable in a team situation. Loraine ? Too slow. Howard ? Too young to be an area manager for a pub company – no experience. I’ve no idea how he got his job. I think the title will be between Kate and Yasmina.We’ll seeTCCx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s