Vanity and Shadows

When I first joined Spaces I used a profile pic that was twenty years old.

 I felt that if I posted a current photo, I would somehow lose kudos.  After a while I ‘fessed up and posted a realistic 

  Every time I looked at my Space, I hated that photo.  It was with a great sense of release that I finally admitted my age but the photo was too bitter a pill to swallow.  Nowadays, I use an arty photo, which I find aesthetically pleasing and tells no lies.  I have noticed others are using slight subterfuge to hide the ravages of time and life’s burdens.  Why do we women feel pressure to look young?  After all, this is not a dating service.



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18 responses to “Vanity and Shadows

  1. Louise

    Hi Pen, you look good to me what ever your age. I don’t know why women seem to want to look young or hang onto their youth by doing the old saying mutton dressed as lamb. I take a crap picture but that’s me, some don’t look all that bad and I know they will keep the kids away from the fire lmao. I think I’ve got used to how I look now and I don’t mind getting older or looking older, still 16 behind all the outer trappings lmao. It’s hard campairing photos from the past so I don’t even try to, I just smile and hope for the best, failing that I hit the delete button lmao.Bright Blessings xxx

  2. .

    If someone judges you by your photo and not your words and thoughts then they are not worth knowing, Pen. And of course some people may be reluctant, understandably, about being recognised if their writing and thoughts on here are different from those they portray in the outside world. (says me still hiding behind my avatar…)

  3. Deb's

    me again… I like both your piccies, and you can still see the girl you were in the woman you are, your face hasnt changed that much. but i know i prefer to see a photo than the avatars, because i like that sense of connection and putting a face to the words, my piccy is either 1 year or 2 years old…. and I tend to stick with it cos peeps recognise me from that one. have a brilliant weekend hunlove n hugs debsxXx

  4. Unknown

    I understand the desire to hide behind art, gloss, and a projection of ‘perfection’. Do you remember glamour shots; did they have those here? You went in and they dolled you up and photographed you. I had a photographer friend who did glamour shot parties–women would gather at one of their homes and take turns getting their picture took all made-up, dressed in finery, and lit with soft lighting. I did it too–got my glamour shots done. They were perfect, but he didn’t see them as special at all. For while they were beautiful, it wasn’t me…. He also took photos of me sans-glamour. After a different shoot, per his request. Those photos he put into his portfolio. One of them he blew up and hung on the wall of his studio. Just like most people, I see photos of me and I see flaws. But that is who I am. I honestly don’t like many of the photos of myself I put up here or on Facebook. But that’s me; that’s who I am. On any given day… you can’t get more real than that.I’m rambling I know. I love your ‘eye’–I think it’s great and when I see it, I know it’s you and that makes me feel good. But I also love your face because I know the soul that lives beyind those very real eyes in it. You are so real, Pen. And there is nothing in this world more precious than that.

  5. Karen

    Hi Penny, first yep you’re right I wouldn’t swap it not really lol, and as to your pics I suspect if you were smiling and wearing lippy in the second one you wouldn’t have a dramatic difference. Debs is right you look like you, and as I get older I notice that the age I once thought was ancient, gets younger and younger to me :) Have a good weekend luv Karen x

  6. Martin

    Not just women but all of us, the silly thing is I don’t really think we know why but just know that we do feel that pressure. As in my last comment ‘We are a funny breed’ and some

  7. ..

    Hey Penny!!! I am very happy to see you! You look very good … but you see, I already new you are a wonderful person! The "secret person of the heart" shone through before seeing your face.I completely agree with Jamie. Really, here … all we have are words and thoughts and they speak volumes about us, because they come from the heart.(only if we are truthful with others and with ourselves and we don’t try to portrey a different person, just to be accepted). The picture … might say few things at the begining, but in the long run, it is completely irrelevant! Take good care of you, of Terry and of course of Wendell!!! Have a wonderful weekend. ALEX XXXX

  8. Robin

    Hi Penny, think it’s all been said. You are a very caring lady and your pics are lovely. Take care, love Robin.xxxx

  9. Jessica

    It’s lovely to put a face to the person behind the words! But I kinda liked that eye too, Pen! Have a really good weekend.

  10. Good

    Listen to Master Trainer Shiki. Women are women and men are men. No man wants to see some wrinkly old woman. Just like no woman wants to be with a man with no skills and no j-o-b. Shiki likes the photo on the left. The photo on the right? Come on! And no yammy cakes? Come on!

  11. penny

    Master Trainer Shiki, you represent the fears I used to feel but fear no more. Bog off!! Stay in your own stereotypical world and rot.

  12. Good

    Bog off??? Do people still talk like that? Look, Master Trainer Shiki thinks that with a little work, you can look hot again. You clearly are not an A or B cup, so why hide the fact that you have great yammy cakes???

  13. tony

    hi pen just seen your reply to master trainer masterbater more like your a sound lass and i dont think anyone that is truly friends with you minds in the least we all get old we all tell porkies not allways for our own benefit just carry on being yourself x tj

  14. penny

    Thanks T.J.

  15. Happy

    Hello Penny, I so come for Penny the person and ignore most pictures/avatars. I know this is not a dating service, well, er, I do know that you mentioned it. (LOL, just teasing). I don’t know if using a picture or not is entirely about vanity. Perhaps the icons communicate something ‘other’ we want to share. Also, my family and friends were so annoying about not putting a personal photo online anywhere for any reason, unless doing something like accepting a Nobel Prize or a Brooker or big lotto check. Given my avatar, I’d say I use great subtrafuge. The great thing about profile photos/avatars is they can be changed weekly, if not hourly. Have a great week Penny.

  16. Jennifer

    Dear Pen, you are always a gentle considerable girl in my eyes. We women look the best when we smile. Never mind the physical age, for it is our mental power that keeps us young and dynamic. Have a nice day with blessings.

  17. Jodine Derena

    You look just the same…maybe all thats missing in the photo is the smile… but we know you are a smiler! Love to you. Jx

  18. Sheila

    Hi Pen I can’t see these pic’s mmm xx

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